


You're Living the Life, but You're Playing a Role

by Xavchez



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Canon Compliant, Day 1 Stars, Introspection between Akeshu, M/M, No Dialogue, Shuake Week 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:09:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27603991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xavchez/pseuds/Xavchez
Summary: "Ren looks at him. Eyes filled with hope, newfound emotions welling up in his chest at the revelation of someone else going through the same things he is, of someone understanding his pain and continuing to live. Akechi's mouth is moving, but Ren no longer hears him, only acknowledging the need of seeing what's underneath that mask, the want of being by his side. Of no longer being a lone star."An inside look into Akechi and Ren's dynamics, compared to the stars.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	You're Living the Life, but You're Playing a Role

Living in the attic, you'd think Ren was content enough sleeping at a high altitude. However, on days the night weather was clear and Morgana didn't allow him to venture out, he climbed out his window and laid down on the flat roof of Leblanc, looking up towards the night sky. Tokyo was different from his hometown, a clear sky that stretched for miles on end replaced with tall, clustered buildings illuminating the nightlife of a city. Ren was fortunate that Sojiro lived in a quieter part of town, where only distant sounds of cars honking and chatter lingered. Even with the occasional yell of the drunkard nearby, the familiar rhythm of the crickets lulled him.  
  
Time was significant for Ren, living a double life of a student delinquent and a thief, revolving around deadlines that faced dire consequences if not completed. Every minute was never wasted, whether from improving social stats, bond-building, or even sleeping, all of what he did was towards his rehabilitation. Nonetheless, Ren couldn't help but be selfish, using time meant for resting after a momentos trip to instead indulge his thoughts while looking at whatever stars he could see from the city. It was only during these moments that Ren could drop his facade, slipping off his mask and personas; becoming Ren, a 16-year-old wrongfully convicted and not Joker, a Trickster, and leader of the Phantom Thieves. He allows himself this timeframe to waste, where he could forget about his responsibilities and image being a tiny light in the lonesome sky, flickering before being masked away, it's time to shine coming to an end.

⭐️

The first time Ren meets Akechi, he radiates perfection. Giving pleasantries to the three (four) of them before walking away, talking about a prior engagement. He would have written him off as just another pretty boy, but the remark he made towards the feline's comment made Ren do a double-take, mentally keeping tabs on him.

Chance encounters with Akechi seemed to increase after the fateful day of Ren declaring the Phantom Thieves were just at the TV station. Ren wasn't a man of many words, only saying what he needed to and letting his confidant take control of the conversation, but with Akechi, he couldn't help wanting to continue the dialogue; hearing different tonal usages from Akechi's voice and the array of expressions that matched it. Ren was transfixed seeing this actor perform, knowing it was all fake, but not being able to look away.

🌟

Occasionally, Akechi visited Leblanc during the hours nearing closing time. He'd come in with his uniform, gloved hands tightly holding his briefcase, and sitting in the stool closest to the door, situating his belongings on the seat next to him. He orders the same thing he usually does to Boss while giving Ren a polite smile. When asked about his day, he'd give out a perfectly timed sigh, hair falling to his face before stating his routine reply and Ren looks at him. Eyes filled with hope, newfound emotions welling up in his chest at the revelation of someone else going through the same thing he is, of someone understanding his pain and continuing to live. Akechi's mouth is moving, but Ren no longer hears him, only acknowledging the need of seeing what's underneath that mask, the want of being by his side. Of no longer being a lone star.

The tentative bond they share forms into something Ren could call a friendship as months go by. From the conversations they have at the jazz club Akechi introduced him to, to the shared competitive streak they depict as they play darts, Ren notices that slowly, he's giving his time more to Akechi than anyone else. At first, it scares him, knowing full well Akechi was after them and if Akira slipped, it'd be the demise for them all. But, as he takes Akechi to different locations throughout Tokyo and continues to see Akechi in different angles from how he portrays himself, Ren doesn't seem to mind anymore.

🌙

One day, as the cafe clock chimes to close, Ren and Akechi continue to stare at each other, Sojiro long gone. Akechi's eyes are warm today, have been since he and Ren had gone out earlier, and Ren wants to continue this night. Akechi glances at the clock, eyes widening a bit before he straightens up, getting ready to leave with an apology at the tip of his tongue. Ren stops him, not wanting his presence to leave him just yet, asking if he can stay longer, wanting to show him something. With eyes narrowing a fraction of an inch, Akechi says yes, Ren locking the cafe door before guiding him up to his room. Akechi's been in there several times, the hideout for the Thieves being Ren's room after all, but this time it feels different, more intimate. It may be because it's just the two of them this time, no rowdy bunch to fill in the silence between them. Or it may be because of the darkness surrounding them outside, giving them a sense of privacy. Whatever the reason, it's a new sensation surrounding them, only being broken by Akechi's snort as he sees Ren climbing out the window, beckoning him to follow.

Situated on the roof, Ren lays down before patting the spot next to him for Akechi to follow. There's an unreadable look on his face, but he lays down nonetheless, with space between them. He's tense at Ren's side, but Ren relaxes, letting out a sigh as he gazes at the night sky. It's been a while since he's been able to do this, using Kawakami's massage to temporarily calm his nerves as he continues to devote his time towards others. Ren never considered showing anyone this, not even Morgana was allowed up here, but during a time where he laid by himself, he couldn't help but yearn for a certain arcana by his side.

He knows Akechi is waiting for an explanation, as to why they're stargazing on Leblanc's roof, darkness surrounding them, but he doesn't answer him just yet, appreciating the sounds the night has to offer and the even breathing coming from the body next to him.  
  
Eventually, he does answer; letting his insecurities go. He wants this conversation to be between Akechi and Ren, not Crow and Joker or between rivals. He looks at the sky, no stars in sight, an omen to come, and begins letting out thoughts he's allowed to say. About the unknown of his fate, about not being able to save all the people he cares for, of running out of time, and on being alone. That's what this spot is for him, a place where he can shred his dignity and show emotions not allowed for a leader, hidden from the public's eye. 

Akechi doesn't say anything and Ren doesn't expect him to, continuing to look at the moon. Moments pass and Ren hears Akechi also sigh, glancing over and seeing eyes being shut, muscles relaxing. Looking back to the sky, Ren also closes his eyes, a small smile on his face.  
  
He doesn't know how long they stayed there that night, only waking up to the sound of a car alarm going off. A glance above tells Ren it's nearing dawn as they both stumble to get up and start climbing back down to the room. Neither say anything as they walk downstairs and Akechi gathers his things to leave. Even though groggy, Akechi looks younger, eyes bright as they hold eye contact for a second, Akechi turning away to grab his briefcase, a faint blush on his cheeks. A murmured goodbye is all that's said before he leaves through the door, the jingle of the bell signifying his departure, and while Ren didn't get much sleep that day, he's never felt this light before.

💫

Time continues as the days get shorter, confidants continue to grow, and the obstacles Ren faces get more dangerous. They're nearing the end of the year now and Ren had walked the fine line of student and thief without trouble until now. Their newest target is dangerous, one that has information on all of them, one that will arrest them when the deadline comes. There are nine members in the phantom thieves now, Goro Akechi being the last to join, but even with this newfound anxiety of what's to come, Ren continues to seek him out, continues to take him up to the roof and tear apart and hold the broken pieces of Akechi's mask to his heart.

⭐️⭐️

Akechi visits Leblanc again, but gone are the polite smiles and shining eyes. He looks tired, walking in and settling down with only a nod of acknowledgment between the two. He doesn't need to say anything as Sojiro already gets started on his coffee, letting out a small thanks once done. He sips, staring blankly ahead while his left leg fidgets, the tv letting out background noise as Ren cleans up, giving Akechi space. He can feel eyes on him as he washes the dishes, but he refuses to look, wanting to give Akechi a semblance of privacy in this idle cafe. Even after the clock chimes and Sojiro tells Ren to lock up while leaving, Akechi doesn't move from his spot, his cup finally empty after periodic refills Ren gave him. He grabs it, placing it in the sink before falling into habit of locking the cafe and heading upstairs.  
  
This time, however, he grabs Akechi's hand and leads him. Akechi doesn't say anything, only squeezing when they near the window. They don't let go as they climb up, making it a bit more difficult than usual, but they make it through. 

Together they lay, bodies against each other as Ren sees only two stars illuminating the dark, vast night. Like them, they shine bright only for each other, ignoring the rest of the world and all of its expectations. Ren feels a sense of euphoria at that moment as he glances down at his and Akechi's joined hands. So what if stars are hidden away when their time is up? They come back the next day and continue shining brightly like the night before.

Because life goes on. No matter how much one may wish for time to slow down or stop, the sun still rises in the morning, the roosters still sing, and the sounds of night are disrupted as society wakes up. But even then, the stars come out, because that's what they have to do. Ren and Akechi may enjoy the warmth of each other, but like the stars, they must continue on their own paths that have been laid out for them. Must deal with the injustice both receive during the day. As night returns, may they seek out comfort once again, giving each other the strength they lost during one's absence. Continuing this song and dance until the inevitable goodbye. 

Because Akechi and Ren aren't stars, but they can pretend for a little longer.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for Akeshu Week 2020 and overall in general so please go easy on me!  
> The title is from Always Gold by Iration- a great song where I based (kinda? maybe?) the story on the lyrics (with obvious liberties) you don't need to listen to the song while reading- the vibe is too different lol  
> I love the persona/smt series, my all-time favorite game is Persona 3- played over 400 hours on my first route  
> Persona 5 holds a special place in my heart as it came out on my birthday after YEARS of waiting  
> I finished Royal recently and I finally caved in to join the fandom on Twitter- I made a whole new Twitter account just for akeshu, so if you liked my work and want to become moots, please follow and let me know!  
> I have many more fics in my drafts waiting to be posted or finished, but since this is for something special, I forced myself to write and finish it in a day lol- But please be on the lookout for more fics as I definitely have more to share!  
> Akeshu Twitter Account: /xoco_writes  
> Main Twitter Account: /x_anchez


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